At this very second, I want to break down and cry. I want to shed a tear for every opportunity I believe as though I’ve neglected; the laziness and the ignorance. Let these tears descend from my weary eyes, for I have hurled away an abundant amount of time. What if I could put life in retrograde motion, warning 18-year-old Craig of certain situations were? What if I went to class when I was supposed to? Imagine knowing then what I know now? Imagine being who I am now — back when I was 18. I ponder these thoughts with precision, but I’ve made a decision — I’ve decided that there’s no cap on when I can optimize my potential and explode into the best version of myself. More wrongs than rights have landscaped my life. I’ll never look at the wrongs with hatred and the paths I’ve taken up until now have served as lessons rather than regret. Everything.
January 20, 2009, our 44th president Barack Obama was sworn into office. That very same morning, I swore myself under oath. I vowed that I would achieve all of my dreams and will not be content doing anything that is outside of my passion. More boldly, I said “If you don’t grow up to be everything you weren’t meant to be, you should just kill yourself.”
Towards the end of 2016, I morphed into the best version of myself that I have ever experienced. The feeling was vibrant and I fell immensely in love with myself, all over again. I lost countless hours of sleep — fully exploring my new found growth — gaining countless hours of creativity. I felt as if I made the wrong decision to not take advantage of opportunities and my gift. My guilt trip proved to be the heaviest of my luggage. How would I carry on this weight in my travel?
At any point in life, you’ll be given the opportunity to make a wrong decision, or the right one. Experience, willingness to learn, and wisdom will drive you to the right decision. Big Sean’s album cover for ‘I Decided‘ is driven by wisdom and calculating life’s direction, as best as possible.
To the left, you have a young Big Sean. To the right, you have an older Big Sean. Older Sean offers his wisdom and knowledge to younger Sean. Together, they’re unstoppable and have decided to make better decision.
“…Or I’m not doing the job I was sent here on earth to do. So just imagine you get one chance to do it all again,” Sean said to Jimmy Fallon. Taking wisdom and making sure you’re here doing what you’re supposed to do is a goal. It’s a hefty goal that I didn’t realize until now. I have friends and peers who have the most academic success and honors I’ve ever witnessed. Just to think that should’ve been me — pains my heart at times. My road has been presented in an unconventional way. That’s not to say that I haven’t pursued academic achievements; I’m enrolled in classes now. However, the order at which I handled situations may have been backwards — when compared to another person’s route. You see, that’s it right there: “comparison” and “another.” Those two words lift me off the ground in negative floatation. Life is your own journey, not another’s. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. There have been too many times when I’ve attempted to switch races and join someone else’s — deploying from my own journey — leading to the process of someone else’s story.
What if I told you today, I decided to 100% follow my intuition and enjoy the fruits of my labor? Sooner or later, my fruition will blossom and I’ll be the owner of my own garden. My potential is potent and beyond any limitations. I admire the process that a vast majority around me have utilized to get to their destinations. Being envious of their opportunities has only led me to have a hear of acrimony.
I sit and reflect on all my wrongs and rights. More lessons have come from the wrongs than rights — more wisdom and more appreciation — for when the right comes, I notice it and hold it dearly. My potential: I recognize it beyond clear now and I hold it dear to me. However, I’ve decided to capitalize on my potential and manifest it into fruition. It’s never too late. The clock makes its rounds as I round out a pot full of potential.